VOICES IN THE WILDERNESS

  Let's first deal with stumbling blocks. It's imperative that you realize that I do not fear the opinions of man. Your acceptance of me is irrelevant yet I am responsible before Christ, who paid for my sin, to live uprightly before you. Uprightly does not mean perfect or without mistakes. It means to just be honest, truthful, transparent and working out my own salvation with fear and trembling. My only real desire is to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant” from Him who created me and gave His life for me. For those who truly know me know I am painfully honest and totally transparent about my life; the good, the bad, and even the ugly. I would rather you stumble now over my honesty than stumble later over a bad report from another. I am not proud of everything in my life, quite the contrary, I am very familiar with shame. But I actually credit the fact that I am still breathing and once again useful in His service to those very attributes of honesty and transparency. I have not lived an exemplary life before, or even after, knowing Christ. If anyone has reason to hide things it would be me. But then that would only mean that I do not “KNOW” or understand my Heavenly Father's heart, love, character, forgiveness, mercy or grace.      So, let's do this.

 B.C.: Before Christ I had practiced or dabbled successfully in Ouija boards, native Mexican Indian sorcery, seances, transcendental meditation, astral projection, Scientology, hypnotism, martial arts and even organized Christian religion; which was the biggest disappointment of them all. I was a searcher and destined to meet Christ, I just didn't know it at the time.

  From roughly late 1969 to late 1975 , I experimented at least once with most every underground drug there was at the time but only regularly used alcohol, marijuana, hashish and on occasion LSD. I was driven by an obsession for sexual gratification, which was my drug of choice, from ten years old on. But even then God was merciful and kept me from going too far into the dark side of that world or maliciously hurting others to satisfy my appetite. Even before Christ I was honest about who I was, what I wanted and what I did. Had I been busted for drugs, almost was, I'd not have been upset, I knew it was illegal and was willing to accept the consequences. If I got punished or disciplined for doing anything wrong I just accepted responsibility for it, no big deal.

  Now most believers, even church leaders, don't have a problem with B.C. events or experiences. But even my Christian walk has been a roller coaster at best. I was driven and consumed by my emotions which led me down numerous destructive paths both before and after Christ. At 20 years old I had a very supernatural experience in the military during Advanced Individual Training (AIT) at Ft Leonard Wood, MO that set the stage for what happened 18 months later in Oct. of 1975. I then had an amazing birth into the kingdom of God and was mentored under the guidance and leadership of Army Chaplain Joseph Tumpkin from Coleman Barracks, Thomas Askew and the resident prophet Tom Pittman from Turley Barracks, in Mannheim, Germany where I was stationed for over eighteen months. Had I any other beginning in God I'd not likely survived the next 45 years. I barely did as it was, but God is faithful to HIS WORD. (Phil. 1:6)

  Within 90 days of my conversion I had personally experienced many of the New Testament gifts of the Spirit and supernatural miracles first hand and personally led over 10 soldiers to Christ and indirectly influenced the conversion of over 30 others. Every person I prayed for but one over the next 18 months, both there and at home, came to know Christ as their personal savior. My entire family, many relatives and all of my closest friends were among them. Revival broke out and it was said that some 90 conversions in three different Mannheim Kasernes took place within six months of my conversion. I was the first at Turley Barracks in almost ten years, revival followed. For I was somewhat notorious at that time having gone through a 29 day AWOL, (30 is desertion) three articles fifteen, a courts martial and was facing another courts martial. The 1st Sgt and CO were determined to send me to Ft. Leavenworth. Meanwhile I was building an arsenal in my wall locker to take out three of my superiors. I understood and experienced things, both good and bad, that most would never know. You can read the whole story in two tracts found on this site.

  In 1976, roughly one year after my conversion, I married a childhood sweetheart. She had accepted Christ on one of my visits home and 8 months later we were married. We'd known each other for almost ten years and always cared deeply for each other even though we were with other people most of that time. The marriage, which appeared to be bliss, only lasted 8 months. Upon leaving the army and arriving in my home town of Rockford, Illinois I found myself facing a totally unexpected divorce. I did not handle it very well and it came close to destroying me. Since then she and I have been restored to a wonderful meaningful healthy caring relationship and are still in contact to this day, with my current wife's blessing. I think they like each other more than me. Don't limit God or what He will do concerning anyone. Restoration and reconciliation are always His desire. 

  Within a few months after that divorce I found myself in Rogers, Arkansas with the very man who actually prayed me into the kingdom in Germany. He too had gotten out of the Army and had become part of a youth outreach in his hometown, I joined him. Two years later in 1979, having married a local gal originally from Wisconsin, we had a newborn baby girl, Angel Baby Baker. The ministry I was a part of, "Jesus is the Answer", had gone severely awry and turned into a full blown cult. The leader, who was now running around in black motorcycle leathers,  appeared standing uninvited over our bed at 3 a.m. one morning to proclaim that our gift, all the money we had at the time, made room for us to remain. Later he shared with me that the kingdom of God was much like the Mafia and that no one just leaves and lives. I was possibly the only one not intimidated by him and he couldn't handle that. Although the core group genuinely served Christ the leader's ego got the best of him and he was rapidly heading toward a Jim Jones ending. Ironically God used my wife and I, unknown to us at the time, to indirectly disband it. Being second in command, so to speak, our unannounced departure of fleeing for our lives in the middle of the night rocked it's core and within 30 days every one had gone their separate ways. Some were shipwrecked but most survived, but not without scars. Its leader is still deluded to this day and now mentally handicapped from a second near death bicycle accident involving another car. Ironically, a car/bicycle accident began his miraculous life change only for another to end it in foolishness some 40 years later in a similar accident. God will not be mocked and His patience does have limits. Again, God was faithful to HIS WORD.

  We moved back to Illinois where I reconnected with Dale Crall, an old classmate from high school, who was now the pastor of the College and Career group at what was now my parents home church. We became home group leaders and were very active in the young marrieds group there for about two years. There we had our second child Micah, met Clint and Janet Glenny and became very close to them. God had given me a mandate through Dale concerning that relationship but I failed miserably, but then that's another story. Both our families left Rockford shortly after Micah's birth, Clint and Janet to Bible College in Santa Cruz, California and we to Sierra Vista, Arizona to reconnect with and join Chaplain Tumpkin and Tom Pittman who mentored me.

  It was there I came close to meeting my demise. After becoming a hairstylist and working for the man who led me to Christ in Germany I crashed and almost burned. Through incredible personal discouragement, a marriage without intimacy of any kind, a church split and finally gross marital infidelity I found myself questioning everything I believed in. Like a dog, I had returned to my vomit. It was only through a repeated prophetic dream I had, and Clint's sensitivity to the Spirit, that I even survived at all.

  In 1986 we all ended up in Las Vegas, NV, “sin city”, go figure. But it was there that God brought healing, restoration and purpose once again. But even that had a tragic end. After several years of serving under Clint Glenny, another pastor who has since gone astray, becoming the teen youth pastors of our church and then preparing to move back to Illinois to be close to my family, it happened.

  Just a couple weeks before our scheduled departure, my daughter Angel went to a 3 day youth rally in St. George, Utah with six other youths from our church and the new youth leader, we had stepped down. She never came back. The officer at the scene said it was a miracle that anyone lived. The Suburban veered violently into a cliff wall and rolled at least once or twice at 75 mph. All but three were ejected from the vehicle but Angel was the only fatality. The whole story is in "An Angel Goes Home" tract. Everyone but Angel and Aaron escaped with minor injuries. The officer at the scene said it was a full on miracle. Aaron had been ejected from the center seat of the Suburban out the rear window some 75 feet through the air at 70 mph + landing in the middle of I-15 just south of Mesquite NV.  on the left side of his face and skull.  He was air-vac'd from the scene to Las Vegas UMC not expected to live through the flight and if he did he'd be a vegetable.  He not only lived but miraculously recovered after multiple surgeries and has gone on to be a Christian musician with a beautiful lovely daughter. Angel died instantly at the scene from a basal skull fracture.  She never felt a thing. Nothing has ever been the same since, nor will it ever be. Death is final for the one who dies but life goes on for the survivors, just not the same. Eighteen months after Angel's death her mom and I divorced at my request leaving my son Micah with no sister, no home, and a broken family. I went into a state of clinical depression shortly afterward, but God was faithful in spite of me. 

  Although I lacked terribly as a husband even my wife and mother of my children will tell you I was a very diligent, affectionate and caring father. Angel and I were incredibly close. My children and I rollerbladed, cliff dived, rock climbed, hiked, camped, bicycled, and even worked out together. At the tender age of 17 Angel and I still had no gaps or hidden places in our relationship. We were totally open and honest with each other. For this I am eternally grateful. Micah and I developed this kind of relationship shortly after her departure. He has become my greatest joy. Both her and Micah's stories are in tract form on this site.

In January of 2000 I moved to Ventura, California. There I went through some more very destructive illicit relationships, went to the community college for art, sailed to Hawaii on a 37' sailboat, started writing two books (now complete but yet to be published), got t-boned on my custom motorcycle by a Ford F150 pickup, and 7 years after moving there left an amazing woman behind to be reunited with my son in Las Vegas.

  Now, after over 10 years of foolishness and floundering around aimlessly and without purpose, I am back in His service once again. I am married to a wonderful woman who understands intimacy on all levels, spirit, soul and body, believes in and trust in me explicitly and is excited about what God is doing in both of our lives and on the earth. We're a part of an amazing Christian fellowship with a leader I would follow into hell and back if asked. Is it because he's perfect, not even. It's because his heart belongs to God and he keeps it real without pretense or hypocrisy. He understands his calling and he loathes manipulation and control; a rare find indeed among religious leaders. But then he's not religious, he just loves Jesus! (No longer true)

  Well there you have it, the good, the bad and the very ugly. No skeletons in my closet to discover, no sin left to uncover. If you want to know something about me just ask, just be sure you're ready for the answer. If you understand the Father heart of God and that His gifts and callings are without repentance you should have no problem with what you've just read. In fact it should be incredibly encouraging. But if you do not understand or have difficulty with any of it I will pray for you, for you are snared in legalism and do not “KNOW” Him as you should, nor do you understand "HIS GRACE".

  God is currently restoring damaged or neglected relationships from years long past, it has been a real joy reconnecting with so many precious people via Facebook and the internet. Only God can do this and it's the direct result of me returning to my first love and doing the works I did in the beginning. Oh how easily we get distracted or derailed. But if you know Him, He is faithful and will bring you back to Himself; for He is a jealous God and very capable of finishing the work He started.

  Go, be blessed, and become a voice in the wilderness.

    Love Always in Christ

      Randy S. Baker (AKA E.J.)